This is quite possibly the most difficult blog post I have had to write to date. Maybe that is as it should be. When I started this website almost a year ago, I had absolutely no clue what I was doing. I had never built a website before. I had never had any of my writing published – either online or otherwise. Hell, I wasn’t even sure I would be able to pull it off at all.
All I had was an idea, and I was determined to show the world that idea deserved to be given a chance. To fulfill my end of that bargain, I had to give myself a crash course in WordPress – which, to me at the time, was about the equivalent of being 70-years-old and deciding to learn Mandarin. Maybe that’s not the most appropriate analogy, but it makes sense to me.
Then I had to teach myself all of the other fun stuff that comes along with running a website. That learning continues to this very day. Apparently getting caught up on all of the innovation that has occurred in website construction since the time I attempted to learn HTML in 1998 is difficult to cram into about 6 months’ time. You don’t have to take my word for it. Give it a try for yourself, and see if your results vary.
Fast forward to the present day, and there are now somewhere in the neighborhood of 100 posts of my creation housed by this website. Now, this might not seem like much to the average observer. But if you had told me 9 months ago that I would produce that volume of work in that amount of time I probably would have said you were smoking something. And then I would have asked you to share.
There are a great many events from the last year that appears as a blur in my memory. When I started the writing experiment I call the Memory Hole back in July, I had no reasonable expectation that it might last more than a week or two. It has now been 4 full months of observing the corporate media narrative, and presenting my own opinions on the direction and effects of that narrative to stand in opposition to it. And hopefully provide at least a little bit of solace to others who realize they are being sold a false bill of goods by a bunch of second-rate actors.
And I really have enjoyed every minute of it, even when the events of the world have been at their gnarliest. That is what make this post so difficult to bang out. People that I might have missed the chance to connect with – if I had never started this experiment – I now call friends. Other people that I admired with the wide-eyed fanboyism of an inexperienced amateur, I now call colleagues. It has certainly been a long, strange trip – to quote a relatively obscure MK ULTRA product from a bygone era.
What I am apparently doing my damnedest to avoid revealing is that the time has come where I feel a decision on the future of this project needs to be made. My hope when I started was that I would be able to quickly build a loyal audience that would find value in the work I was producing, and that they would return that value to me in the form of income. And that income would allow me to continue doing what I love to do – which is researching, writing, and sharing the things that I learn along the way.
Don’t get me wrong – I have found a very dedicated audience that constantly reminds me of the value they get from my work. And I am incredibly thankful for each and every one of you. I probably would have quit on myself long ago if I didn’t receive all of the positive feedback that has come my way. And it really does mean a lot to me to know that my random musings on life, the universe, and everything touch other people so deeply. I hope that I at least manage to inspire others to follow their passions.
But I have reached the end of the path that my personal finances are capable of bearing. And unfortunately, that income that I believed would come my way and help to sustain my efforts has not materialized in the manner necessary to allow me to continue creating and publishing the volume of work that my audience has no doubt become accustomed to consuming. For that, I apologize to everyone reading this – especially if you have been kind and generous enough to support me in this endeavor. Because this is the point where I feel like I have let you down.
For the foreseeable future, the Memory Hole will be going on hiatus. The time, attention, and energy that I have been investing into this blog will have to be reassigned to other activities that will be capable of generating more reliable sources of income. After all, we all have to eat and pay our way in this world.
This does not mean that I will no longer be researching, writing, and sharing the things that I learn about this world of ours. It just means that the frequency that I am able to engage in these activities will be greatly reduced. The hardest part of this is knowing how much disappointment this decision will create in the people who enjoy reading this blog. I don’t feel like there is anything I can say that will make up for that.
So I will just say thank you to everyone that had the courage to stand beside me and encourage me every step of the way. None of this would have been possible without each and every one of you. And I am eternally grateful for all of the kindness you have shown.
-thedrizl
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